The sound of OOF

Staying home from work today, I sent this email to my team:

The bad news is that I’m not feeling a whole lot better than yesterday.

The good news is that to get you through this troubling time without my presence, I provide you with rap.

Please read this in the voice of a thug, as who has street cred.
…and rather poor rapping skills.


Diagnosed with streptococcus.
It’s got me down; I cannot knock this.
Stay at home to rest and cough. It’s
Hard to be away from the office.
Try to remote in but they’ve blocked it!
Password’s expired and can’t unlock it!
All I want to do is log in!

Now my rage is engaged.
Feels like I’m encaged.
There's a war being waged.
How can it be in this day and age
That my body’s upstaged by a bacteriophage?

Word.

[sound of microphone hitting the floor as I walk away]